10 Hilariously Inappropriate Kid Quotes


10 Hilariously Inappropriate Kid Quotes

It's a cliche that kids say the darnedest things, and as many moms report, their quirky utterances are one of the pleasures of parenthood. . . except when they're not, points out Circle of Moms member Christina G. She recalls the special embarrassment of having her two preschool-age children react to the smell of a prospective babysitter's home with, "‘Mommy, eeewww it stinks in here,'" and mock dry heaving.

Welcome to the blessing and the curse of young ones learning to talk. The best way to handle this stage, according to Christina, is to "embrace the embarrassment." As the stories that follow illustrate, it will most likely soon give way... to laughter.

(Warning: Some of the stories that follow include crude language.)

The Truth Hurts

For better or worse, children tell it like it is, says Angela L. She shares a particularly embarrassing moment when her son, then a toddler, made a proclamation about a fellow park goer’s physique. “We were up at the park playing on a big slide. Through the center of the park there is a walking path that comes right past the slide he was on. So he’s playing and is standing up on a platform at the top and he looks over and sees a very large man walking down the path. Out of nowhere, as loud as he could manage, he yells ‘Hey mom, look at that big fat guy over there,’ and he points."

Tara T.'s moment of truth came at a family dinner that included her in-laws. Her 4-year-old daughter asked about dessert, and when she replied that they didn’t have anything, her mother in-law told the little girl that dessert makes you fat. As Tara shares, "My daughter replied back to her with: ‘But Nana... you’re already fat.

Kelly is another mom whose child spoke too honestly at the dinner table, this time at a meal that included her husband’s boss. "The boss asked J what he wanted to be when he grew up. 'I don't want to grow up,’ J responded. The boss questioned: ‘Why not?’" To which Kelly's son responded, "Because I don't want to be like you. You're boring.” Luckily the boss laughed it off.

 

Yes, Yes, Just Don't Say It Out Loud!

Then there are the public proclamations and outbursts that make you or the family look bad, as Ashley B. and Laura S. share. Ashley's took place in Kmart, where her 7-year-old wanted new socks. "I said 'Not now,' so he yelled, full blast: ‘I have to wear the same socks every day!’" Needless to day, "Everyone stopped and turned." (Ashley explains that her son doesn't understand that he has many pairs of socks, they just all look the same because they are the same color.)

Laura's two zingers embarrassed her at church and with a new boyfriend: “When my [older] son was about 5 he said very loudly in church ‘We have to eat his body, gross!' We were sitting next to an older woman and she gave us a look that could kill.”

Some time later, she introduced her younger son to a man she was dating. He walked into the boyfriend's house and said, "in an amazed voice, 'Your house is BIG, are you rich!'"

She Didn't Get That from Me. Really.

The embarrassing things that come out of your children’s mouths can come at any time and in the most unexpected places, as Kim C.'s and Lucy F.'s stories illustrate. Kim shares an embarrassing moment that happened in the ER waiting room, where she had gone because her 3-year-old daughter had an allergic reaction. "She was sitting there all quiet and asked if we could go in the door beside us. I told her 'No, it’s not our turn yet,'" at which point her daughter said, ‘Why can’t we just go in? Will they bust your *ss?’ The entire room erupted into laughter.”

Lucy F., who is a vegetarian ("not the preachy type") says her daughter was inadvertently rude closer to home with a neighbor. "One afternoon last year we met my neighbor as we were coming into the house, and she said to Ivy, ‘Are you going to have dinner? What are you having?" Ivy replied, ‘Vegetable lasagna, what are you having?' When my neighbor told her she was having fish pie, Ivy looked at her as if she was mad and said, incredulously, "What? A fishy in a pie! You can't eat animals, that's naughty!"

As mortifying as these moments can be, many moms find the humor even while the offending words still hang in the air. Angela remembers a Saturday Night Live-esque episode with her newly-talking toddler. "He asked if we could get some ‘minty butt-holes’ when we were in the bread aisle at the grocery store. I was like What?!?, and he said it again, pointing to a bag of mini bagels. Everyone was laughing while I was slowly pronouncing the words to him the right way.”

So what’s a mom to do – besides cringe – every time a child says something embarrassingly inappropriate? “There’s not much you can do but laugh," says Candi H., and Maria agrees. “My daughter was 5 or 6 (at the time) when we went to this video store to look for a movie to bring home. She was checking out all the covers and picked a movie off the shelf and brought it over to me yelling ‘Hey mom, is this a nasty movie?’ and OMG this young couple was looking at me and laughing...lol. All I could do was shake my head and smile.”

What's the most embarrassing thing your child has ever said?

Image Source: Gisle's fotostream via Flickr/Creative Commons

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