How to Be a Better Parenting Team

Nothing tests a relationship — no matter how secure and happy it might be — quite like parenthood. From the day you learn that kids are entering the picture, there are decisions to be made (Do we bank the cord blood? Circumcise the baby? Hire a midwife?), and while the themes of the issues at hand may evolve, they never get any easier. Add to your new docket of responsibilities the fact that one or both of you is likely going through life on less sleep than you'd ever imagined you could function on, and it's a recipe for conflict.

As one year comes to a close and a new one begins, we're resolving to recommit to approaching parenting as a team. Here's the plan.

01
Ignore the Old-School Rules of Date Night
Corbis

Ignore the Old-School Rules of Date Night

We've all done it — booked a babysitter, made a reservation somewhere fun, and swore that we wouldn't talk about the kids. It's time to shake things up a bit. Your kids are a major part of your lives. Your time alone together is limited. There's absolutely nothing wrong with taking advantage of a grown-up night on the town to figure out a strategy for your middle schooler's suffering math grades or issues with your nanny.

02
Loop Everyone In
Thinkstock | John Howard

Loop Everyone In

It's likely that one parent deals with the brunt of the family issues then just fills their partner in on what they missed when they get home from work at the end of the day. Make a concerted effort to ensure that your kids understand that both parents care about and are deeply invested in whatever it is that they're dealing with. Even if Mom's the one to meet with the teacher in person, Dad can still offer his opinion and suggestions, and be an involved part of the conversation (or vice versa, of course).

03
Don't Vent About Your Spouse in Front of Your Kids
Thinkstock | Huntstock

Don't Vent About Your Spouse in Front of Your Kids

Whether he spent too much on flights for a guys' weekend or she's stuck at work — again — disagreements arise in relationships, it's just a part of life. But you should each make an effort to avoid complaining about the other in front of your kids (divorced or separated parents, this goes for you, too!). It creates a divide, and can be confusing and/or stressful for little ones.

04
You Need to Present a United Front
Thinkstock | Lucas Allen

You Need to Present a United Front

Whatever else is going on in the world — within your relationship, in your kids' lives, at work — it's imperative that you take steps to ensure that your children look at their parents (whether you're a couple or not) as a team. It doesn't mean that you can't each have your own styles and weaknesses (one of you is always going to cave and stop for ice cream more easily than the other, and that's a fact), but when it comes to the big stuff, stick to the same script. It may take a while to work out an agreement that you can both get behind, but in the end, everyone benefits.

05
Create Traditions and Routines That You'll Really Stick To
Thinkstock | Randy Faris/Fuse

Create Traditions and Routines That You'll Really Stick To

Kids crave stability (and so do most adults, right?), so establish realistic routines that you can all commit to. Whether it's a standing Friday night pizza party, or a Sunday afternoon walk to the park, consistently finding time during the week that everyone can be together makes kids feel secure, and gives you all an opportunity to talk as a family.