50 Thoughts I Have Between Sunrise and Sunset
Meredith Masony of That's Inappropriate shares the 50 things that go through her mind in a single day being a parent.
I am a woman. I am a wife. I am a mother. My brain never stops. Even when I sleep, I have constant lists and topics running wild through my cerebellum. It. Is. Exhausting. I love my husband. I love my kids. However, I would love to sleep. The mythological creature known as "Sleep" has eluded me for quite some time now. I am positive that I am the one who robs myself of sleep. Below you will find a list of 50 thoughts that run through my head from sunrise to sunset.
- Is that a foot in my face?
- Why does my hair smell like pee?
- What day is it?
- Did I pack lunches last night?
- Where is the toilet paper? I know I bought toilet paper. Why isn't it in this cabinet. I just went to the grocery store. Oh wait, that was last week. Not this week. Maybe I didn't buy toilet paper.
- I have to get everyone up and ready. But it is so quiet. I just want them to sleep until lunch.
- OK, get them up. Push the coffee pot button first. At least the smell of coffee will soothe me.
- Why are they fighting already? They haven't been up for five freaking minutes. How can anyone be this angry all the time?
- Why does everyone ask me where everything is? I can't remember where I put my shoes, let alone your shoes.
- It isn't even 8:00 a.m. yet. Dear sweet Lord help me!
- We can make it to school on time if we leave right now.
- We will only be five minutes late if we leave right now.
- Where are my keys?
- How on earth have they not brushed their teeth yet? I don't care if he is the smelly kid in class. Just go to the car.
- OK, relax. I can feel my blood pressure skyrocketing.
- Oh, I like this song. Why do I like this song. There are only 5 total words in this song. I used to be smart.
- OK 2 kids dropped off, one more to go.
- OK, off to work. Why am I sweating already. I think I smell.
- Don't forget to switch the laundry when I get home. It may be moldy. I forgot to switch it last night.
- Take something out for dinner. What did we have yesterday? How do I not remember what I made yesterday?
- Spaghetti. We had spaghetti! I knew I would remember. OK, well I guess we can't have spaghetti.
- What time is it?
- Why are these leftovers in the fridge? I told him to take this as lunch. How does he forget his lunch every freaking day? I should call and see if he needs lunch.
- I better vacuum. What is that spot on the floor? Why is it sticky? We didn't have pancakes today. Is that maple syrup?
- OK, 2 hours until pickup. What do I need to do? Sh*t! I forgot to switch the laundry.
- OK, I need to wash this again.
- Off to pickup. I will switch this when I get home.
- Did I forget to turn the crock pot on? I didn't smell food.
- OK, two kids picked up, one to go.
- Why are they fighting? They just got in the car. Why do they hate me?
- Sh*t! I forgot to turn the crock pot on. OK, that will be dinner tomorrow. We can do breakfast for dinner tonight.
- One hour until they go to bed. I can do this. 60 minutes.
- Who threw that ball at my head? Freaking kids! Seriously, they hate me.
- 40 minutes until bed. I can do this.
- They just need to shower and brush teeth. Maybe tonight will be the night they do it all by themselves.
- Why do I have to help them every night. We brush teeth every night. It is not rocket science.
- 10 minutes. I can do this.
- Seriously kid go to bed. If they come out and ask for water one more time.
- OK, it is quiet. I am so happy to be sitting down right now.
- I am so tired. I can't see straight.
- Did he just ask me if I want to do it? Seriously? Is he insane?
- Is he seriously pouting right now?
- It will only take five minutes, just suck it up and do it so he will go to bed.
- OK, I can go to bed in 10 minutes and I will get a solid six hours of sleep.
- OK, brain shut off. It is bedtime.
- What was that noise? Is a kid awake?
- I better check on the kids.
- OK, everyone is fine.
- I am so tired!
- Sh*t! I forgot to switch the laundry.