4 Easy Ways to Be a Happier Mom

Every parent has those days when they're not as happy as they could be. Maybe you didn't get to spend time with the kids. Perhaps you spent the afternoon refereeing a sibling battle. Or maybe you weren't given a goodnight hug. While it may seem like these days are inevitable, author Gretchen Rubin believes we can easily prevent them from happening. In Happier at Home ($9, originally $15), a follow-up to The Happiness Project ($9, originally $15), the mother of two documented her year-long journey to creating a more pleasant home. She focused on everything, from interior design to her darling husband, and found much success.

We sat down with the happiness guru to get her secrets on being a happier parent, even when times feel especially tough. While she has many great tips, these four resonated with us the most. We think you'll agree!

01
Give Warm Greetings and Farewells
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Give Warm Greetings and Farewells

Given today's fast-paced lifestyle, simple things such as saying hello or hugging someone before they leave have fallen by the wayside. It has left many people, especially moms, feeling unloved and unappreciated. In order to change that, Rubin says family members must acknowledge each other. The idea came to her during a family meeting, where she asked everyone to make a resolution for everyone in the family. When it was her daughter Eleanor's turn, she said she wished "people would always give me a big hug and a big kiss every time they saw me."

Rubin liked the idea, noting that it would help them "show more attention and affection for one another." She also thought acknowledging each other, even with just a simple "hello" would create a sense of appreciation.

"It’s a respect thing," Rubin says. "It’s acknowledging that I’m here, you’re here, and we’re going to say hello to each other."

But don't beat yourself up if you forget to give your partner a hug on his way out the door. As Rubin says, "you get a lot of chances, so even if you only do it 50 percent of the time, that’s still a lot."

02
Go on Wednesday (or Any Day) Adventures
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Go on Wednesday (or Any Day) Adventures

We want to spend as much time with our children as possible, but work and after school-activities often prevent that from happening. When Rubin noticed she wasn't spending enough one-on-one time with her daughters, she created Wednesday adventures — a specific time during the week where she and a child would do something fun. The key, according to Rubin, is to actually write the adventure on your calendar.

"If you put something on the calendar, you commit to what you are going to do and when," Rubin says. Not only does this special time give you and your child something to look forward to, but it also provides better talking opportunities.

"We’d be in a museum looking around and have stuff to talk about from that, but then we’d also have casual conversations," Rubin says of her one-on-one time.

But what will you do during your special time? While there are long lists of mother-son activities and mommy-daughter dates, it's important to pick something that interests both of you. Rubin also says not to use this time to complete chores, like grocery shopping or going for a run. Save those tasks for your alone time.

03
Ban Teasing
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Ban Teasing

We've all seen how a small joke can start a WWE-style fight between siblings, leaving you to referee the argument. To keep these battles at bay, Rubin says it's important to make your house a tease-free zone. The idea struck her while reading a book on the topic, which she then turned into a short blog post.

"I was amazed by how many people responded about how teasing had almost alienated them from their family," Rubin shares. "I want to create a more tender, loving, and attentive atmosphere, and you aren’t going to have that if someone is making fun of someone else."

While this has been a rule in Rubin's house since her daughters were born, she says it is one parents can easily implement even if teasing has been present. To start, she says parents should set the example, as they are often the ones doing it most.

"Maybe they are trying to make a point in a jovial way, but to me it seems very passive aggressive," Rubin says. She also suggests talking to your kids and telling them why teasing is never OK. This simple change can create a peaceful home, which means a happier mom.

04
Underreact to a Problem
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Underreact to a Problem

It happens to the best of us — a child refuses to eat their dinner or a glass of milk spills, and we lose our mind. These freak-outs, unfortunately, have a negative affect on our kids.

"When we get upset, they get upset, and everything escalates," Rubin says. Her solution: treat the problem like it's no big deal. That, however, doesn't mean to ignore it. "It’s not dismissing it and it’s not pretending something isn’t wrong. It’s just controlling your actions."

To do this, Rubin suggests reminding yourself to stay calm on a daily basis, even if you are already at ease. This way, when something happens, the peaceful mentality is already present. Not only does this keep you (and everyone around you) composed, but it helps you better handle the situation.

"If you act calmer you feel calmer, and that gives you the wherewithal to deal with whatever you're facing."