As a new mom, you may discover a hole in your social life that your nonmom friends used to fill. To keep your sanity and meet new people, you decide to join an online community. After all, who better to understand your diaper dilemmas and sleepless nights than fellow moms? Unfortunately, not all of them are there to offer support. Many, in fact, use it to criticize their kindred community members. From the oversharer to the one-upper, meet the moms that rule the chat groups. Do any (or all) of them seem familiar?
The Constant Complainer
This mom treats message boards like a therapy session. She posts about every parenting problem, from potty training troubles to picky eating habits. While you understand a mom's need to vent now and then, her daily complaints make you roll your eyes.
The Serious One
You may think it's funny that your husband forgot to put on the baby's diaper before bed, but she sees that as child endangerment. In her mind, motherhood is never a laughing matter . . . ever!
The Lingo Lady
You may be conversational in Spanish, but she is fluent in online abbreviations. Though it's possible that she made up a few of her own terms. I mean, what is an AWMIL? (Apparently, it's an attention whore mother-in-law.)
The Self-Proclaimed Expert
No need to Google your questions. This mom read every baby book and visits every parenting site. If you dare to disagree with her, be prepared for a lengthy response, complete with a works-cited page.
The Oversharer
You often wonder if she has confused the online community with her diary. She posts pictures of her baby's very infected diaper rash, shares all the details of her postbaby sex life, and asks if her vagina should look like that after labor.
The Judgmental Mama
You use disposable diapers. She says you're harming the environment. You and hubby had a baby-free weekend. She says you don't love your child. Don't try to win this woman over, because it is impossible.
The One-Upper
Everything your baby does, hers can do better. But to be fair, she has no one else to brag to since all her Facebook friends blocked her.
The Funny One
You wish your comments were as wise and sarcastic as the ones she writes. Whenever she posts something, you end up laughing out loud and silently wishing that she'll become your best friend.
The Stalker
When we say stalker, we don't mean she will hunt you down at home. Rather, she makes an account, joins every group, and doesn't post a thing.