10 Things You Should Never Say to Your Childless Friends

If it hasn't already started happening, it's only a matter of time before your group of friends will have another group . . . of babies. It's a fun, exciting time, especially when you start to arrange playdates, but for those pals in your circle who are still child-free, dinner parties get more than a little awkward when the conversation turns to "so, have you thought about kids?" To help make your childless friends feel more comfortable, here are some comments you should never make, no matter how good your intentions.

  1. But you are so good with children, and you love my kids!: Using this phrase as a reason your friend should have a baby is illogical. Even though you may mean it as a compliment, just because she is great with kids and loves another person's child doesn't necessarily mean she wants one of her own. At the end of the day, she's not responsible for all the less-fun activities of raising a baby like potty training or waking up in the middle of the night.
  2. Trust me, it's all worth it in the end: While any parent can agree the end is definitely worth it, you shouldn't tell your friends what you think is or isn't worth their time. Let them decide. They might completely disagree with you and think the road to raising a kind and mature adult is not worth the struggles.
  3. What do your parents think?: Don't bring up the baby conversation if it concerns your friend and her parents. What they talk about is off limits unless she initiates the topic. You don't know what her parents are thinking, and you could stir up some unwanted feelings.
  4. Thanks for the advice, but you're not a mom: She might not be a mother, but she just wants to help, especially if you talk about parenting stuff offhandedly. For unsolicited advice, a better reply would be simply saying thank you and leaving it at that no matter how strongly you disagree. Sometimes parents do know better than people without children, but reserve your judgments for private.
  5. I didn't think you would want to come . . . it was a party with all parents and kids: Whether it's your child's first birthday or 10th, extend an invite to your close friends, even if it's going to be all parents and children. They'll appreciate you at least kept them in mind. Childless people love a good party too!
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  1. Babies are so cute. How can you not have one?! I'll babysit!: Babies are adorable, everyone can agree on that, but just because something is cute (like a puppy) that's not a good excuse to say, "I should have one." In addition, there are twice as many not-so-adorable moments that come with having a baby.
  2. You'll change your mind in a few years: She might. She might not. Some people know they don't ever want to have kids right away, and some do change their minds down the line. It's her decision, so don't hold your breath waiting for the answer you want to hear!
  3. Well, at least you have your dog or cat: Childless friends don't want to automatically be associated as the crazy cat or dog lady. Yes, they love their pets like they would their own kids, but it doesn't mean that's ALL they have in life.
  4. You know, you don't need a partner to have a child!: If a woman is single, people tend to assume she doesn't want children because she hasn't found the right mate. While this is true in some cases, if a woman really wants to have children she will find a way, single or not.
  5. You and *insert partner's name* will have the cutest kids! So when is it happening?: A couple's decision to have children is a private matter, so unless they bring it up in a conversation, it's best not to ask. They might have infertility issues or they might just be waiting for the right time, neither of which concerns anyone outside of the relationship.