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Why I'm Relieved My Son Has Asperger Syndrome

Apr 3 2015 - 12:20pm

My son was finally diagnosed with Asperger syndrome at the age of 9. I say "finally" because, as many special-needs parents can tell you, the road to diagnosis is a rough one [1], often filled with roadblocks and detour signs. When he was diagnosed, as strange as it may sound, I was relieved.

As a community member who goes by the name Ms. Undead shares, I knew my son had always "been different [2]" than other kids and that he met some of the criteria for Asperger syndrome [3] — but not all of them. I spent a lot of time explaining to people that he had characteristics that were "Asperger-like" but that we didn't know exactly what was wrong with him.

I also spent a lot of time feeling like I needed to defend myself, to explain the behaviors that made it look as though I wasn't being an effective parent. Amanda N. could be speaking of my son when, on a discussion in the Autism/Asperger's/PDD Awareness community [4], she shares of her's, "As he got older, more and more signs [and] behaviors surfaced [5]."

Right now my son is in a treatment center to help him learn to manage the meltdowns and "perseverative behavior" (or, as Brenda D. explains it, "getting stuck on something [6]") that accompany this disorder. He's away from home for the second time in the past three months, so you would think I don't have a lot of reason to be relieved about his diagnosis, but I do.

Mostly though, I am relieved my son has Asperger syndrome because I finally belong to a group of moms who can understand me: Asperger moms. Again, Kristel put words to my feelings [13] when she said, "I have felt so alone and isolated [14] for so long."

Now I only have to feel isolated if I choose to isolate myself. I have communities to turn to here [15] and in real life, in which people understand me and my struggles with little to no explanation. I am one of them. All those moms of kids with Asperger's [16], whether they are named or unnamed, known to me or unknown, I am one of them. That's a huge relief.


Source URL
https://www.popsugar.com/family/Why-Im-Relieved-My-Son-Has-Asperger-Syndrome-27332480